Month Twelve Letter

Dear Maddy,

Today you are one year old. You have made it aaaaaall the way around the sun, once. And in that year you have tripled in weight, you learned to hold your head up, sit up, belly crawl, crawl, stand, walk along furniture, eat solid food, then feed yourself solid foods, drink from a cup, speak a few words and make MANY sounds... And most importantly you became the centre of the world to a few people that love you so much. It's been a pretty impressive year for you!

Let me preface this next part by saying there is NO way a woman should ever experience her first child's first birthday and PMS at the same time. The hormonal rollercoaster? Woo hooOOooOO! But many times in the last few days, my Maddy, I have just held you or watched you in amazement that you are here, you are so wonderful and that I get the honour and privilege to be your mom. And so many times the joy of knowing you has brought tears to my eyes.

Before becoming your mom, I had another (now abandoned) blog. And I had a naive and vain ramble about being a mom and would you know if your child wasn't cute. I look back on that now and laugh at old me. The love for a child is more than an appreciation for the physicallity of your child... it's about creating life, life that was once part of you, and then doing everything you can to nourish and grow that life into everything it can be. Yes, I think you are absolutely adorable, and others have said similar things. But whether or not you are cute, I want you to feel loved and that you love yourself. Happy and strong in knowing who you are. I was once a young girl (oh so long ago) and I remember how hard it can be to figure out how to fill the body you live in, to make it feel authentic and all part of you. And I am going to do everything I can to help you feel good about yourself. But, Maddy, as much as I want you to be strong and certain I also want you to know humility and responsibility and accountabilitty and learn your true strengths and weaknesses. In short? I want it ALL for you and I will be there with you, as you achieve what you can.

I think ahead to what this next year will bring. Walking, more talking, and more asserting yourself. There will be falls and bruises and scrapes. Daycare and illness. But there will be playing in the park and swimming and going for walks and playing with friends... the boundaries of your world is going to open more and more and I can't wait to be there to watch you learn and experience so many new things. The last 365 days have been amazing, with you here, and I am going to enjoy every moment of the next 365 days even more! Well, as long as this constant teething takes a break. You are drooling constantly - our entire house is slightly damp right now *grin*

In all seriousness, I love you, Nunu. Happy first birthday!

Mom