Month fourteen letter

Dear Maddy,

You are now a pro walker! You are an official biped. Tonight we went to a friend's for dinner and there you met some stairs. And? You climbed them like a pro! Not a second of fear or hesitation. Just one step after another until you reached the top. But going down? Well, there was no fear or hesitation either - but you tried to go down them face first. That is when the fear showed on MY face. And this is just how you are. You are confident and know what it is you want. You have a spark and spirit that awes me. And you go and go and go and go. There is no stopping you or slowing you. Sometimes it exhausts us but it's always worth it. Always.

Fourteen months - it doesn't sound all that old but you really are more like a little girl, a toddler. And there is so much more growing ahead of you. Today we went to Toys R Us and bought you a few things, We got you a pink lawn chair and an Olivia doll and a green ball you think is just AWESOME and love rolling and playing with. And there mama and dada looked at all the fun toys in our...er... YOUR future. Dolls and bikes and slides... we'll get to relive being a child through watching our child grow up. And I think that is the real magic of having a child. All the fun and none of the personal insecurity. Wait... the first time a child hurts your feelings, it will break my heart more than it ever broke when someone was mean to me. And I know that day is coming soon, with daycare starting in just over 1 month.

Maybe this makes me a crazy mom, but I'll be calling the daycare this week to ask them if there is anything we should be teaching you. At daycare I know you'll be eating at a little table and chair, maybe off plates... right now you eat in a high chair and just on the table. I know you will have to have naps on a mat, now you're in your crib. You will have other kids to learn to play with and rules to follow. Now? Well, there are rules but everything revolves around you. I am scared about what things you will learn at daycare and what things we're trying to teach you will get unlearned. But I never had the chance to go to daycare and I went into school very meek and unsure socially. Maybe you'll be better prepared? Maybe that is (well, was) just my personality.

It's hard to know what the right thing is to do, my Nunu, until the outcome is seen. Then the right choice is obvious. I hope we're doing the right thing, for you. But I want you to know that never for a second do we take our responsibility to you lightly. We are always trying our best, to do what is best for you.

Well, daylight is long gone and the night is getting late. It's time for this ole mama to get to bed. Happy 14 months, my little girl. I almost typed baby girl...

I love you so much, Maddy.

Mum