Month twenty one letter

My (not as) little Maddy,

Today you are 21. Twenty-one months, that is. This month there hasn't been a lot of blogging. It's not that you aren't doing new things daily, or that there isn't anything that I want to chronicle. It's just that my limited writing ability is being stretched to the maximum trying to capture how completely awesome you are.

How can I explain in simple words how hilarious it is to let you choose part of your breakfast? I chose peanut butter on toast and milk. You grabbed pears in a jar (ok) and sweet pickles (um...). And you ate every bit of the stuff you chose (and very little of the toast). And when you finished the pickles, first, you looked around in confusion and called out "Pick-os! Where ARRRE you?".

Or the way you light up when you get the chance to have juice! Your face contorts into something that can only be called a grimace, but we know it's your face of absolute and overwhelming joy!

Or how much you love "UPS!" - to go upstairs and play in our bedroom. You look at books, both your books and ours, and whatever is in our drawers and watch shows on the computer and feed the dogs their treats and crawl around barking and panting like a dog.

Or your frightening infatuation with The Wiggles. Thank you whoever invented a PVR! We are able to have a constant stream of "Wigg-os!" on the TV. And a constant stream of Wigg-os songs running through mommy's head. Catchy little ditties, them Wiggles make.

Or how adorably friendly you are. You are always saying hello to everyone and everything. HAI BUS! HAI MOON! HAI TREE! HAI LIGHT! Or HAI to the people walking through the mall or at a store. You have so much life and happiness in you, it's infectious. Being near you, a person that doesn't know long term fear, or anxiety, or meanness, or sadness is inspiring. The thought that one day, someone, somewhere will hurt you and burst this bubble of innocence scares me. But until then, I have your simple joy in things like pointing to "big bug" and playing in the bathtub with your plastic "pec-i-lan" and the sounds of a "hepi-coper" in the sky.

Another thing that has been holding me back from writing more is a struggle I am having, whether or not our family is missing someone. A second child. You are so perfect for us, Maddy, that it scares me to think of trying for another. There is no way I could be lucky enough to have 2 kids as awesome as you. And you love the focused attention of the both of us. Would a second kiddo take too much away from you? But after the years of fighting and rivalry are done, would a second kiddo, a sibling, give you so much more? There would be less money and space and attention to go around but I always swore if I had one, I'd have two. I didn't like being an only child, I ached for a sibling. But your daddy, he loved being an only child. Which would you take after? I just want a crystal ball, to see the future and learn what is the right choice. For us and for you.

Happy 21 months my girl! Halloween is almost here, then Christmas, then you are 2! In a blink you will reach that milestone. And I am loving every speeding second of my time with you.

Love always and forever,

Mommy