Was I really just...?

Sunday was a lazy day. We did nothing - not even change out of our pajamas. Normally a day at home means someone gets a little bored with the SAME. OLD. HOUSE. And whining ensues. Although yesterday Madds (oops! spoiler!) was pretty content, until the very end when she just had enough of this day.

But the lazy Sunday makes up for the super busy Saturday. Baba, Dido, Neil, Maddy and I went to the Titanic exhibit and then out for dinner. The exhibit was short, but moving. Literally for the one in charge of chasing down Maddy and figuratively for the others. As 3 of us would wander and read and look, the fourth would be chasing a running Maddster as she ping-ponged from display to display. And, honestly, I looked at the room from her perspective. Words she can't read on the walls and boxes with things that were above her line of sight. But there were many people to visit and space to run. When I had a chance to look, the artifacts were interesting but it was the stories of the people... that moved me. Sometimes it's easy to read about an event and be sad. For me, it's when I break the event to the people - their lives and stores - that is when I am devastated. These stories from a century ago had tears coming to my eyes. But also, it reaffirms my belief that no matter when we live in time, we're all the same. Love, laughter, heartbreak... living. It all happens then much like it does now.

Back to reality, we then took Maddy to the space area and let her run wild and free. And she ran. And ran. And ran. And ran. Can my child actually still walk, or is it only run now? She walked up to people and said hi, she pushed buttons and pointed to "MOON". And ran. When it was time to leave there were a few tears (it's never fun to have fun end). And then to dinner, which took way too long. And home to bed.

But before the busy started, we were at home and hanging out in the living room. Neil and I were on one couch and Maddy was watching TV. A song came on that I knew and I started my off-key warble along. Maddy turned to me, pointed her finger to her lips and firmly said:

"SHHHHHHHHHHHH"

I stopped singing and stared. Then? I started laughing maniacally. My 21 month-old daughter just SHUSHED ME. My laughter lead to another shush (which lead to more laughter, which I muted with my hands). Oy vey, Maddster. You are a girl of certainty.

Life, otherwise, continues to speed by. Still. Maybe this is just the normal pace of life now and I should stop commenting on it?

Because I never seem to get around to typing as often as I would like, I'll continue to ramble about baby version 2.0 and my newest thoughts. I have set out to the universe, to have a second child Neil and I would have to win a substantial amount of money in the lotto, so that we could afford said child. So we could afford larger mortgage (for a house with enough bedrooms) and 2 daycare spots and 2 RESPs. I know we could do it with what we have, but we'd do it with more stress and financial strain and worry.

I read blogs (which led to writing in blogs). I read the blogs of people with 2 or more children and their level of busy. Of losing tempers, of snapping at everyone, of wondering how it'll all work. And chasing children in opposite directions, and more sleeplessness and tiredness and more stress and less money. Sure, there is more love and more hugs and more kisses and more being shushed... but we have an amazing life right now. We have balance. We have an equilibrium that all three of us (five if you include the dogs) are thriving in. And I am not sure I want to rock that boat. Because I really am a klutz and could see myself falling in the water...